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Glasses Don't Just Help You See

I didn’t always wear glasses.

When I was very young the lenses inside my eyes were removed. At the age of three I was given the gift of sight by means of nose dentingly thick spectacles. They were super cute on a three-year-old. By the time I started kindergarten, I decided the gift of sight was secondary to the gift of not being teased.

I convinced my parents to invest in hard contact by the time first grade started. I wore those contacts all through the formative years of self-identity. I do not have an internal picture of myself as a glasses wearer beyond the age of six.

At the age of twenty-three I had surgery to implant lenses inside my eyes, similar to cataract replacement surgery (though I never had cataracts and the placement of my lenses is different because I have no chamber inside my eye to hold the lenses in place). There were complications. Long story short, I ended up having to wear glasses again. Yay.

Skip a year. Aften on a date with this dude. Neither the dude nor myself really knew if either of us liked the other.

There is no better date option for this ‘do we like we’ insecurity than sports-viewing. Sporting events have jumbo-trons. Jumbo-trons favorite between plays activity is to troll the audience and peer-pressure uncomfortable and insecure dates into kissing. I was terrified of that stupid cam.

I have an inability to recognize people in person as well as in video